Archive for the Category »cuntpet defined «
This is something I’ve been meaning to post on for a while now, but I just haven’t been able to get around to it. Some of you may have noticed that I took cuntpet out of the title of this blog as well as out of the nick I was using (scarlet lotus cuntpet–now scarlet lotus sexgeek). Cuntpet.com still forwards to this site, and will for quite some time until/unless I choose to do something else with it, and I do still embrace my cuntpet-hood, it was not for that reason that I have taken it out, for it is still in the subtitle “24/7 submissive cuntpet” because that’s how I identify.
Cuntpet has come to be an identity for me, not just a name. This was also it’s original intention but I didn’t realize what that meant at the time. Another original intention of cuntpet was simply to get away from the term “slave.”
I dislike “slave” as my personal identity, and although I used to embrace it, I did not do so wholeheartedly. There has always been something not quite right about it for me, which brought me to the search for something different. I don’t like the historical connotations, or the indication that as a slave I would have no choice whatsoever. While I do think that is one thing which distinguishes slave from sub I also did not (and do not) embrace sub (though I embrace submissive, but that’s for another post). I believe that all consensual slaves have a choice, as they are choosing to be a slave, otherwise it cannot be consensual.
I also dislike the “I’m a slave, therefore somehow better than just a sub” mentality, though it’s nearly impossible to get away from. Not everyone feels like this, of course, and not everyone thinks there’s that sort of hierarchy within different BDSM roles. I don’t believe that someone who is a bedroom-only submissive is any more or less of a submissive than someone who is submissive in a 24/7 M/s relationship.
I didn’t realize how much I have started to dislike the identity of slave for me (not for others who choose to embrace it, just for me personally) until Master and I were talking earlier this week and he mentioned that I signed up to be his slave (which therefore has certain requirements along with it, that too is another post). It wasn’t appropriate at the time to correct him, though I mentioned it roundaboutly later, but inside my head I screamed “not slave! Cuntpet!” Though in some ways they mean the same thing. I even went through and changed all the references to me as “slave” in our contract, protocols, etc. to read “cuntpet” as you can see.
My idea of what it means to be a cuntpet has changed slightly since my original conception of it:
My use of the term “cuntpet” incorporates four dynamics within it: Owner/cunt, Owner/servant, Owner/fucktoy, and Owner/pet. All of these are similar and different in their own ways, some overlap to an extent, some are almost contradictory, and all of which I identify with and either have or am striving to have in my current relationship.
Owner/cunt is an identity which I have lifted from a post by cunt of Under His Hand, which I take to mean as a way of having fun with bratting and force fetishism within an Owner/owned framework. As she said: “I get to have my “force fetish” scratched without it having hidden meanings of anything bad. I get to dance out of reach and sing “make me” and then run like hell, because he will make me and it will hurt.” Basically I see this aspect as the ability to be stubborn and strong-willed at times, the ability to not be the “perfect slave,” and to play with force, bratting, but also not being able to get away with it, and being completely overpowered in the end.
The cunt aspect of my submissiveness is almost directly opposed to many ideas of what a “slave” or even a 24/7 submissive “should” be. I don’t subscribe to “should”s and think that everyone is able to embrace whatever label they so choose, because labels are not boxes, but categories, and nothing is confined to just one category (my complete view of labels will be another post).
Owner/servant is slightly more self-explanatory. I have come to think of this in some ways as being his personal assistant. I am here to assist him in any way he needs/desires, be that maintaining the cleanliness of the house, fetching him drinks, preparing meals, and all those other daily little things. This aspect of my submission to him does not come as easily to me as the other three aspects do, but mostly that is due to inherent procrastination and not the desire not to serve him.
I love doing things for him, don’t get me wrong. I love the look of happiness he gets on his face when I do something for him, and I love the warm feeling I get from serving him, but sometimes (like when I’m sore and have trouble moving, or when I’m in the middle of something else) it is difficult for me to do for him as quickly as he or I would like. I believe that servant/personal assistant (pa) is the weakest aspect of my submission, and something which I need to work more on, both for him and for me as well.
Owner/fucktoy incorporates the sexual aspects of my submission to him. This aspect represents my sexual willingness and desires, not encompassed by the other aspects. This is my having given over my body to him as his property, my willingness and desire to be used by him in any way he desires. Different from the cunt aspect which craves force, this aspect is the one which simply craves to be used like a whore, like a toy.
Willingness is a big part of this aspect. It’s about embracing and releasing my inner harlot, it’s about being an eager and shameless fucktoy for his (and my own) pleasure. It’s about giving in to all those sexual desires quaking within me. It’s about being able to be free in my sexuality. The ability to be fucked hard and thoroughly without any thought to my own pleasure, but deriving pleasure simply from being used exactly as we desire.
Owner/pet is also somewhat self-explanatory, though also has a bit of the servant and fucktoy aspects in it as well, which is part of why I chose cuntpet (though mostly because it was the best sounding and cuntservanttoypet is too long and doesn’t sound nearly as good). I have always said that I love to be fucked like a dirty whore but also pampered like a prized pet, depending on my mood and the mood of my Owner. Also, one of Master’s favorite terms for me is to call me his pet, it has been for a very long time.
This is the aspect which in some ways covers all the rest, but only with explanation, I think. If I was just to consider myself a pet the other aspects would not come through the same way as they do with cuntpet, though As I said in my first definition of cuntpet: pets can be strong and willful, independent, stubborn, and spirited, while at the same time being able to be tamed.
My darling Kat had a saying “A wild horse doesn’t need to be broken. If she is tamed properly she will still have fire in her eyes while eating out of the palm of your hand.” This quote, in some ways, encompasses the cunt, pet, and servant aspects. I am looking to be tamed, while still retaining everything about me. I desire to be overpowered, tamed, and trained into the mental mindset of each of the other aspects.
Cunt and fucktoy come the easiest to me, then pet, and servant. Even though I have the desire to serve and to do for him I have become jaded over the ten plus years I have been exploring and playing with aspects of my submission, not to mention it’s difficult to work up the desire to clean when it is way too hot outside and in (we lack air conditioning) and when I have things I want to write, and when… the list of excuses goes on. I do have the desire, but inertia is so much easier to give into rather than fight.
We are making massive steps forward, however. I am closer to the mindset I desire than I have been ever before, and we are working better than we have ever before. I constantly marvel at the fact that despite living together for two years, being together for three, I still elate when he comes home from work, or when I know I will see him after being apart for hours. I still ache for his touch, and desire to explore more with him.
One of our major downfalls was that our relationship started as completely sexual-based when I (we?) desired to have a mental D/s connection. Due to lots of hard work, however, we are closer to Owner and cuntpet than we have been before.
Possibly related posts:I have been trying to come up with better terms for what I engage in than Master/Mistress and slave. I think I need a combination of Owner/cunt, Owner/pet, and Owner/(sexual) servant. So maybe I’m a sexual service cuntpet? Heh. Perhaps pet can encompass all of these?
What I mean by this: Owner/cunt as described by cunt is something I take to mean as having fun with bratting, in many ways, and being able to mouth off and protest and curse and do all the things a “proper slave” is supposedly not supposed to do. These are things I enjoy to do at times, though not at others. Well, correction, I’m a smart-ass all the time, regardless, and I am a brat quite often, though not always for the aim of being forced into submission. I enjoy being forced and overpowered and just, well, dominated. I definitely have a force fetish. However, I do enjoy service also, I do enjoy other aspects of slavehood, not just being forced. Thus, the other aspects.
My service is primarily sexual, though not only. I enjoy doing for him in whatever way he needs, as a symbol or signal of my submission to him and as a gesture of my love, adoration, and worship of not only him but also our chosen dynamic. I love serving him sexually, being told what to do, ordered around, and also just giving that service to him. We have expanded my service to other mundane things such as making and serving him food and drinks (which I would do anyway, but we have made it into more of an expression of my submission by adding gesture and word to it should we be alone, or simply eye contact and both of us mentally acknowledging my gift at that point). I enjoy doing menial mundane things for him as well as the sexual service which I readily and eagerly provide.
Master calls me pet, I think it’s his favorite term for me, really. I have always fancied my submission as being a mixture of pampered pet and dirty whore, and my idea of Owner/pet is that of a pampered pet as well as an eager follower. Pets can be strong and willful, independent, stubborn, and spirited, while at the same time being able to be tamed or broken. One of my favorite quotes, which Kat introduced me to, and I don’t remember who it is by, but she may let us know in a comment and I will amend this: “A wild horse doesn’t need to be broken. If she is tamed properly she will still have fire in her eyes while eating out of the palm of your hand.” This is really what I mean when I say “broken.” I don’t mean broken in an unhealthy sort of way, or in a way that would squelch my spirit and self, but in a way that would tame me for the time being, with the knowledge and desire for me to become strong and willful and etc. again, but also be able to have this “broken” or tamed space within which I can be as well.
This may be the best for an overall idea, Owner/pet, though I think that “pet” carries different connotations than those I would be using them for, but maybe that’s okay, because, really, no matter what word I use it will have some sort of connotation or another. Perhaps I just need a new word altogether, but even that would carry a connotation in a sense. Perhaps “cuntpet” is a more fitting and accurate term, which carries with it damn near the connotations that I would like associated with it and me and my submission. So, after all this musing, I come back to what I said at the beginning of the entry: so maybe I’m a sexual service cuntpet. Or just cuntpet for short.
Though, this doesn’t address my generalization issues, as mentioned in the last post as well, that this is rather specifically a female term, and though I do know some boys are called cunt too, I’m not sure if it would work. However, at this point I’m not as much worried about it generalizing as I am about just wanting something which is individually mine. Maybe that’s all that matters. Cuntpet is me, and very specific.
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